Do you wonder if we’ve improved management of physical pain but have forgotten how to recognise and manage emotional pain?
Our children find it okay to cry, ‘bear’ the pain when they fall down and scrape their knees and elbows or get hurt in a match, but if they don’t come top of the class or win the sports match, ‘we all’ struggle to accept the disappointment that comes with those outcomes.
Why does that happen?
Why is a nasty fracture or even a severe concussion to the head easier to deal with than losing points or a rank on the leader board? Isn’t it ironic how physical injuries cause suffering due to their impact on people’s thoughts and beliefs, not their bodies! And with the rising incidence of body dysmorphia and eating disorders in childhood, we are facing serious concerns as a society.
How do we see ourselves and how much are we ‘incapable’ of seeing?
Why is a relationship breakdown dealt with by an attempt of overdose, self-harm, binge drinking, or a drug spree rather than a heart-to-heart with a friend or a trusted adult in our lives?
Do we associate fragility with our uncomfortable and unpleasant emotions?
And if so, what is considered ‘natural’ when we lose a match or face disappointment?
How should we handle a material or emotional loss?
What about betrayals and death?
Are we supposed to just feel fine?
Do we become stronger if we ‘look’ okay?
What does ‘looking okay’ actually look like?
Are we willing to take a few moments out of our hectic lives and actually ask ourselves these questions?
Or will we just put up banners saying ‘It’s okay to not be okay’ and use it as tokenism?
What we fail to realise is that avoidance feeds and reinforces anxiety. It teaches us to feel better by not dealing with issues, and the more we do that, our emotional ineptitude increases exponentially, of course along with our anxiety.
So are you truly okay? Or are you just saying that to avoid dealing with the issues?
